Apron Strings

The com­pe­ti­tion was tough. It seems many of you had moms who were less than stel­lar cooks, or who had some rough patches along the way.

Lori Myers said “Once, long ago, before my mom actu­ally became a fab­u­lous cook”

Heather Rosen said “My mother is a great cook now, but when I was grow­ing up.…”

But oth­ers like Donna Fasano were con­vinced mom’s cook­ing was beyond repair :

My step-mother, may she rest in peace, still has 100% of my heart (“Love you!” I shout heav­en­ward), but she couldn’t cook worth a darn.

After much con­sid­er­a­tion (which I assure you did not include a taste-test) we have selected our win­ners.  We’ll be award­ing $50 gift cer­tifi­cates to those help­less chil­dren who were forced to con­sume their mom’s Spaghetti Soup, Alien Veggie Loaf and Chicken Liver Surprise. Congrats to the win­ners! And, thank you all for your amaz­ing (and awful) sub­mis­sions. We’re still cringing.

And, for those of us whose moms don’t cook Roast Chicken like Gwenyth Paltro (have you seen her “I’m just like you” cook­ing video?) I give you the spoof ver­sion, which bears more sim­i­lar­ity to how most of us get by (warn­ing; a lit­tle bit of swear­ing hap­pens along the way)