Apple Butter is a Scam!

Apple butter is a scam. Apple butter is really just apple sauce. It’s vegan!

When I read the words “apple” and “butter” I want to taste creamy butter with a pinch of salt and I want that butter to be flavoured with apples. So, here’s a real apple butter recipe complete with dairy and, added bonus – Booze!

Your straight-edge vegan girlfriend will totally hate it.

Autumn is here and apple harvest is well underway. Here we present the perfect recipe to add a beautiful garnish to your dinner table, it goes beautifully with roast pork, turkey or chicken. Toss it with brussel sprouts, bacon & walnuts or steamed baby turnips.

It is so easy to make, the finished product won’t take up room in your fridge and it is guaranteed to wow your guests.

Added bonus, if your turkey comes out a little dry this will provide some lovely lubrication!

Real Apple Butter


1 stick salted butter

1 apples, peel on, cored & sliced

1 oz. Calvados


  1. Slice the apple and remove the core. Do not discard the peel, keep it on the apple for added colour in your butter.
  2. Melt some butter in a frying pan and cook half the slices until browned on both sides. Let slices cool.
  3. Fine dice the remaining slices and add to food processor.
  4. Add fried slices to processor and stick of room temperature butter.
  5. Blitz it up and slowly pour in the Calvados.
  6. Once everything is nicely pulsed together scrape out the butter onto a sheet of plastic wrap.
  7. Press butter out into a log shape, then roll up the wrap, twisting the ends until you end up with a nice solid butter log.
  8. Label and store in fridge, freezes beautifully too.
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