Conquer the Undead in Your Kitchen

Night of the Living Bread

Bread just doesn’t taste right when it comes out of a bread machine. It’s such a simple thing to make from scratch, so why is it so scary?

I think it’s the yeast. We don’t understand yeast. Yeast is weird.

It’s alive, yet not in the same way an oyster is alive. Yeast is in a state of suspended animation just waiting for a little warm water and a few sugar crystals to fully come to life.

It’s kind of like Voldemort.

Get over your fear of the undead yeast. Follow this recipe and you will end up with delicious bread that tastes like it came straight from Ma Ingall’s oven.

Keppy Bread

Named after a young man who threw all this together without a recipe and ended up with beautifully risen and totally edible bread, thus giving him the confidence to bake bread with abandon.


3 tsp. yeast in a coffee mug of warm water with a slight sprinkling of sugar

1/4 cup Red River cereal

1 sweet potato, grated

1 tsp. salt

1/4 cup or so of hot water

handful sunflower seeds

approx. 2 or 3 Tbslp. molasses

3 Tblsp. butter

1 egg

flour, 1 cup at a time until you can’t incorporate any more


  1. Put the kettle on to boil.
  2. Mix together Red River, sweet potato, salt, sunflower seeds, molasses and butter.
  3. Pour a little boiling water over the mixture, enough to make a thick soup. Let cool.
  4. Once cool, mix in one egg and the yeast mixture. The yeast should be frothy with life. Then beginning adding flour. Once the mixture is in a kneadable state begin kneading.
  5. Make sure to soak the bowl in warm, soapy water while kneading. Once finished kneading the bowl will be easy to clean.
  6. Dry the newly cleaned bowl and pour in a few drops of oil. Put kneaded bread into oiled bowl, cover and let rise 90 minutes.
  7. Punch down and cut into 3 loaves, place into oiled bread pans. Preheat oven to 400. Cover and let rise another 45 minutes.
  8. Bake at 400 for 15 minutes, then turn oven down to 375 for 15-20 minutes. To test doneness just tap the top of the bread, if it sounds hollow it’s ready.
  9. Tip out of bread pans and let cool on rack.
  10. You just made bread, you conquered the undead!

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